Thriving On Conflict^TM

When Teamwork Gets Tough

Go beyond conflict resolution and conflict management.  Learn skills to THRIVE on conflict.

When you are under pressure to get work done, you are going to see honest differences of opinion that don't resolve easily. You can pretend to resolve conflict by suppressing it, but you risk missing something important, something that might jeopardize the success of the project.  Because conflict is normal, predictable, and necessary, the best goal is to make it constructive. 

Now in in the book, Colorful Leadership

Based on the Life Styles Inventory and LSI Conflict profiles. Copyright (c) 1987-2008 by Human Synergistics International. Adapted by permission.

Our approach is not about resolving conflict; it is about recognizing it, accepting it, and thriving. The key is your self-talk. We offer some simple sentences you can say to yourself when in a conflict situation.  These sentences are grouped into constructive, defensive/passive, and defensive/aggressive approaches.  Here are the constructive approaches to conflict:

• Pragmatic - Let's look at the facts and figure this thing out.

• Self-Empowered -Here is what I am doing about it.

• Relationship Builder - First, let's get to know each other.

• Conciliator - I know we can work this out.

It is important to see the value in all three conflict approaches.  Sometimes you need to be defensive because others really are out to get you.  At times the defensive/passive approach is best because the source of conflict could go away by itself.  Other times the defensive/aggressive approach is appropriate because it is fast and direct, leaving no ambiguity behind.